Friday, May 21, 2010

Attention: Get Someone

May 21, 2010

“He gets me.”

That’s what my bride-daughter said to me regarding her future husband, the day before her wedding this past Saturday and like most Marketing Mindfulness newsletters, it got me to thinking about how we “get” one another.

Several weeks ago, I had the good fortune to reconnect with a dear college friend and although we hadn’t spoken in many years, we seemed to follow one another’s conversations with seamless ease. What joy it is when we understand one another! To be understood is an incredible feeling, and one that I value as a great gift.

What goes into the understanding, “the getting,” of one another? I believe it has to do with listening, rapt attention, shrewd observational skills to pick up on subtleties, nuances, and voice intonations, as well as, a hefty dose of empathy. As “location, location, location,” is the battle cry for realtors, “attention, attention, attention,” needs to be the mantra for our personal and professional relations.

It is indeed a remarkable gesture when we listen and attend to another: our antennas are highly tuned, we have no other thoughts occupying our mind, we are just there – present. This was palpable at my daughter’s wedding this past weekend: the bride and groom were in lockstep in their attentiveness to one another, as well as, the guests. It was a beautiful display of oneness.

What lessons might we learn from paying attention, so that we might engage our clients and prospects in a like manner? Think back to a time when you were interacting with a client or prospect, and your entire experience was effortless. What was at play to bring that about? Attending… sincere, authentic attention.

When we attend to another, we are mindfully present. In the professional sense, our attentiveness is illustrated by our questions to the client or prospect, our genuine interest in his/her business, and our positive feedback, where we remark on the strengths and attributes that make the individual or company so great.

In the past several years, positive psychology has infused my personal and professional life; it has become a familiar mainstay in my interrelations. I made the conscious decision to commit to positivity, and at first, it was a challenge. There were many questioning voices and other negativity that threatened my resolve. Through consistent and daily mindfulness, I committed to practice conscious thought, feeling and behavior.

And although there are still times when I get off track, there are two things that bring me back around to centeredness: 1) My grateful focus on someone else, 2) the continual reaching for a positive thought. And when we are centered, our clients and prospects feel OK, valued, and welcomed. And they will be incredibly grateful that we “get” them.

If you do nothing else, look for – and genuinely appreciate - the good, the strong, the beauty in another, and I guarantee you a promising experience.

Mindfully yours,


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